Let's not talk about Kevin

It's funny how plans we make often fall by the wayside. We start out with lots of good intentions, firmly resolved to follow through...only to have it all collapse, like a house of cards when someone bumps the table.

Recently, I started up an on-line book club. Using the facilities available through Facebook, I managed to rope in a few fellow book enthusiasts, each of whom were keen to not only read something, but then discuss and dissect it. Considering some of the participants were girls/women I went to high school with (and hadn't had a lot of contact with since then), an old college mate, and the sister-in-law of one my of school friends (whom I have never met), the initiative had a lot of promise.

Reflecting my penchant for plays on words, I dubbed the on-line group The Last Saturday of the Month (Face) Book Club. As the title suggests, we would converge, on line, on the last Saturday in each month; we would come together via Facebook; and we would 'chat' about whatever particular book we had chosen.

Our first chat took place on a Thursday! There were difficulties with everyone being able to log in. The 'process' by which discussion would take place was somewhat haphazard. We all seemed keen and had the best of intentions but there were plenty of teething problems.

We have now read a second novel, this entitled Let's Talk About Kevin. The last Saturday in November has come and well and truly gone. Cyberspace has gone quiet with the output from our members. So, is it worth it?

Absolutely! For me, the on-line book club is not so much about the destination, but rather the journey. It's not about whether we take roll-call and everyone takes part. The book club is about 'connecting', about sharing an experience that, for however long it takes to read a common book, unites us all.

There all manner of reasons why things don't go the way we think they will. As John Lennon famously declared: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans!" We all get busy, we all get distracted. It's what we make such busy-ness and such distraction mean that is important. If we get too hung up on the deadlines and the obligations, we miss out on the journey and the joy.

For me, opening up a page, on a book that I know Lindsay, or Annie, or Andrew or Vanessa, may also be opening up, is humbling and exciting. In that moment, I am 'connected' to them, no matter what part of the world, at whatever time of day or night. And in those moments of 'connection', I am reminded of what it means to be truly part of the human race: it is the things that unite us that are more important than those that divide us.
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Cleaning out can be a gentle process

Yesterday, Celena and I bought a vacuum cleaner. Not an exciting acquisition, I grant you (despite the manufacturer's claim to have created a machine that will make cleaning the floors "a joy") but, for far too long, we have had to rely on borrowing one from the in-laws, so it certainly marks the gaining of a certain independence on our part.

That vacuum cleaner will play a significant part in our life in the future. It's not a surrogate child and we don't anticipate a sense of quivering anticipation as we assemble it and plug it into the nearby wall. As for joyfulness - well, one shouldn't expect too much! But it will certainly become a useful tool in our efforts to keep our house and car clean and presentable.

In recent weeks, I have realised that I have developed a tendency to take many of my worldly possessions for granted. I don't clean the car as often as I think I should. Windows become streaked, dust accumulates on bookshelves and shoes are scuffed and rubbed through a lack of being polished regularly. It's not that I don't want to attend to such matters - I just always seem to find something more enjoyable or more rewarding to do.

That's why our purchase of a vacuum cleaner is so important. It's fine to want to ascend the heights and experience thrill of a 'mountain top' experience...but we eventually have to come down and spend some time in the valley. What I am realising is that, in our lives today, there are chores to be completed, tasks to be tended too, priorities to be pondered. Performing the mundane duties of running a house is all part and parcel of our greater mandate to build an eternal kingdom.

The actual quote escapes me for the moment but I know the Bible has a lot to say about doing the small things in life with passion and conviction. It's where the story of the servants and the talents comes in. But while we typically think of this as relating to our personal gifts, I actually now appreciate it for the message it offers me as the owner of one property and the tenant of another.

And if a vacuum cleaner is going to the start of my conversion on the road to cleanliness and self-discipline, then I - and Celena - will give thanks to God...and turn it on!
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Have I Found What I'm Looking For?

The sounds of Larry Mullen Jr's pounding drums, Adam Clayton's thumping bass guitar, Edge's soaring keyboard and Bono's empassioned vocals are still ringing in my ears. Twice this past week, I had the privilege - and pleasure - of seeing U2 perform at Suncorp Stadium. My head is full of snatches of lyrics and my heart is bursting with the power evident in these two shows.

The first night, I was accompanied by Celena. The train trip home was marked by Celena sharing her insights and responses to the concert. Once home, she was suitably inspired to write an editorial piece, about her reaction to the experience, and showed it to me as we were getting ready for bed. I was struck by her eloquence and her perspective on many aspects of the concert that either I missed or had failed to consider. For instance, Celena came away with a renewed appreciation of the Biblical imagery used by Bonon in the song Until the End of the World.

On the second night, I played hooky from my squash team and purchased a cheap ticket to revisit the glory of the first concert. Watching U2, and the mesmerising light and stage show that marked the 360 Degree Tour, on my own, was a reminder of my childhood days, and the independence I enjoyed as the eldest of six children. I was flying solo but I never felt alone.

Like a good wine, U2 is a band that can be savoured, tasted and devoured on one's own or you can share the experience with others who appreciate the different vintages. You're a fan of the early stuff they produced? No problem, there's a hit in the show for you - perhaps a good drop of "New Year's Day". Or maybe you prefer the labels that represent U2's commercial success? Something off the Joshua Tree or Achtung Baby? Maybe the buzz and energy of the song written for one of the Batman movies, Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kill Me, Kiss Me? Maybe something of more recent production, a song that, given time to breathe, can capture your senses with its beauty and simplicity?

For me, two songs that captured the magic of these two shows were Magnificent (Wednesday night) and Bad (Thursday night). With these two songs, Bono reached into my broken heart and poured a salve over the gaping wounds. The lyrics, the arrangements, the production...all combined to remind me that, even in the midst of grief, it is important to find occasions, and reasons, to celebrate. Otherwise, why go on?

Somewhat poignantly, the latter of these two songs was dedicated to the memory of John Lennon, whose life and death cast both inspiration and sadness over the two concerts. If Bono could lead the way, to show that there is indeed life after death, who was I to argue? Ok Bono, you've convinced me - I Will Follow!
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Time to dwell in the gaps

It has been a long time since I wrote on this blog...Easter this year, in fact. Nearly six months have passed, from the time I wrote about Brodie's reaction to the Easter story. In that time, we have been told that Brodie may only have 'months' (subsequently revised to 'weeks') to live! Obviously, we have found this news very confronting!

In that time, I have been assailed by a wealth of emotions: I use the term 'assailed' because it has been almost an assault of the senses that I have experienced; I use the term 'wealth' because I recognise that there is a richness, and a depth, to what we are all going through, collectively as a family, and individually.

One of the best descriptions I have come across, to describe the journey of these past few months, is 'dwelling in the gaps'. The sense of this expression is captured in the extract below:

"The more you try to let go, the harder it is to let go. Then we feel incompetent because we can't let go. If we're really dwelling in the gap, we can turn to God and say: "This is what's going on. I'm feeling it right now. I'm going to allow You to be here. I don't have to struggle with control; I can look at what I can learn about this." That's dwelling in the gap. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it's hard."

There will no doubt be much hardness ahead; at times, like when Brodie comes into read me my Stephen King novel at night, it will all seem so easy! But the chance to 'dwell in the gaps' means we have to be prepared to live on either side...the good times and the bad, the hard times and the easy ones. It's the stuff in between - the gaps - that help make us who we are.
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Lessons of the Cross strike a chord with Brodie

How does one express gratitude for someone who makes the ultimate sacrifice? That is the question we are forced to confront on this most holy of days - Good Friday. It is the day on which Jesus, the Christ, took up His Cross...and gave up His life.

I took my son, Brodie to the Stations of the Cross at our local church this morning. He was clearly fascinated by the unfolding drama, as we made our way around the playground of the adjoining primary school. Stopping at clearly identified intervals, I attempted to explain the story of Jesus' crucifixion, and all the drama leading up to that fateful moment.

If I had any concerns about Brodie's ability to comprehend what he was 'witnessing', I need not have worried. On the way home, I asked him what he remembered from the 'chapters' of the story he had just heard. "I remember that Jesus fell over three times and that a woman wiped His face," he responded, unprompted. Asked if there was anyone special that Jesus encountered, he told me: "Mary, Jesus' mother".

It may seem like I am boasting, the ravings of a proud Dad. Yes, I am proud! But more importantly, I sense that the story of Jesus' journey to Calvary has the capacity to touch us all, if only we let it. It hardly matters how many years we have lived - the death of the Son of God resonates deep within us...as it should. After all, He died for each and every one of us.

As an interesting postscript, this evening, I shared with Celena and Brodie a pack of postcards, containing the Stations of the Cross as depicted by Aboriginal artist Richard P Campbell (http://www.nativespirit.com.au/australianart/stations.html). Brodie wanted me to go through each of them, re-telling the story with Campbell's beautiful artwork. The questions Brodie posed, particularly "why did Jesus have to die?", assured me that this is one Good Friday our family will remember for a long time!
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Easter prompts a sense of anticipation

We are a few days out from one of the most significant seasons in the Church’s calendar. My son is in the lounge-room, waiting for me to come and play with him. My wife is preparing to drive into the city for an appointment at the hospital. The Indigo Girls are playing and their laid-back style perfectly suits the anticipatory mood that prevails at the moment.

Easter, perhaps more so than Christmas, is all about anticipation. In the readings for each of the milestones that mark the journey of Jesus, we hear that sense of waiting prevail: Judas waiting for the right moment to betray Jesus; the disciples waiting for Jesus’ profound teachings to become clear to them; the high priests and other Jewish officials waiting to confront the threat to their authority; and Jesus waiting to fulfil his destiny as the Son of God.

We wait when we have hope. No-one waits for a bus they know is never coming. A person continues to go on a date because they have hope that, one day, they might meet their soul mate. An army can hold off opposing forces if they anticipate reinforcements are coming. When we have hope, we don’t mind waiting. It makes the wait worthwhile!

This Easter, may you find peace in the time you spend waiting and may the hope indicated by the empty tomb inspire and humble you.
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Let Lent be a time for renewal

One of my favourite stage shows is Les Miserable. This stirring story about a man's fall from grace, and then redemption, is set against the backdrop of the French Revolution. It is a timeless story but the author of the book upon which it is based, Victor Hugo, also penned words of wisdom which apply acros the ages.

One of his sayings, which struck a chord with me over this weekend, was: "The future has several names. For the weak it is the impossible. For the faint-hearted, it is the unknown. For the thoughtful and valiant, it is the ideal."

At this time of year, which in the Catholic tradition is the season known as Lent, I am mindful of the need to hold on to, and pursue, the ideal; a better world, a better life, a better me!

With another working week about to begin, I am mindful that Lent is a time to become more attuned to the Lord working in my life. I find myself asking "How - and where - can I make a difference?" "How can I be of service and demonstrative of my faith?" "How am I resistant to the Lord's call on my time, talent and treasure?"

Whether you believe in God or not, whether you practise your faith or not, I pray that the next 30-plus days will be a time of struggle but also breakthrough. And after it all, may the Lord touch your life with joy and contentment.
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Time to consider legacy of our first Saint

The news that the Vatican has set a date for the Mass that will mark the creation of Australia’s first saint, Mary MacKillop, will no doubt cause a huge sigh of relief among travel agents, tour operators and other ancillary services associated with the ‘business side’ of canonisation.

But set aside the actual event in October for a moment and it’s timely to ask just what having a national saint will mean for our country? What will be the long-term legacy of this pioneering woman’s elevation to sainthood?

Call me a wishful thinker but I hope there will be two key areas where we will see a transformation in one another’s hearts, minds and behaviours of Australians, post October. They will include our willingness to share our time, through volunteering, and our desire to offer financial support to those less fortunate.

The need for volunteers has never been greater. Scratch the surface of any community group or charity and you will find a need for people to give of themselves in some small, but practical way. Whether it’s patrolling the beaches as a Lifesaver, being involved in a local church or delivering Meals on Wheels, the opportunities for serving others are widespread. To quote Mary again: “Work on with the means placed at your disposal.”

In my capacity as the Director of a church agency assigned with the task of raising money to support the Catholic Church’s missionary efforts overseas (and in remote parts of Australia), the biggest pay-off I’m hoping for will be increased donations. More donations means that more lives can be changed! After all, to again quote the woman of the moment: “God loves courageous and generous souls.”

Just as Mary MacKilliop set about providing education for young children, and caring for those involved in prostitution, so many of the programs our donors support have similar focus. If people are moved b y her example, to open up their hearts and wallets, the long-term impact will be massive.

Imagine an Australian community where people regularly, and consistently, share a portion of their pay-packet with a charity of their choice? Imagine if every adult Australian took up the opportunity to give a few hours each week to a local charity or community group. You don’t have to be a Catholic to follow in Mary’s saintly footsteps!

This brings me to a third pointer about the impending canonisation of Mary MacKillop. While the ceremonies in Rome, and the ensuing festivities back here, will be joyous occasions for all those involved, there is no doubt that Mary’s life – as an advocate for the poor, a champion for change and her willingness to challenge authority - is one that should inspire us all. This is why the Roman Catholic Church goes to a lot of trouble to identify certain individuals as worthy of being called ‘saint’ – to remind us of what we are truly capable of!

In Brisbane, Mary MacKillop has been nominated by the Archbishop of the Roman Catholic Church, John Bathersby, as the “patron” for the Archdiocese (a geographic region bounded by Hervey Bay in the north, Gatton in the west and Burleigh Heads in the south). Hopefully, this will provoke greater reflection on both the words and deeds of Mary Mackillop, in the months ahead. Most importantly, however, it reminds us that in a world wracked by evil, the challenge is now up to us to do something. For as Mary herself reminds us: “Never see an evil without seeing how you may remedy it.”
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Families provide strength and support

A man donates some money to a charity, as a way of expressing his gratitude for the support his place of employment provided to him and his family, while his wife battled terminal cancer. It may sound complicated but the simplicity of this gesture is truly inspiring.

Earlier today, I had the privilege of addressing some of the colleagues and other people at this particular place of employment. The man - whom I have met previously -was there too. My role was to simply say thanks: thanks to him, for the donation; thanks to those he worked with, for the support they provided; and thanks, on behalf of those who will benefit from such generosity.

In expressing my thanks, I drew on the imagery of family. The place of employment was one family; the husband, wife and son they supported was another; and the people who will benefit from the support were all part of the global family. It's a powerful notion because, like any family, when one person is suffering, all members suffer. When someone is sick, or hungry, or impoverished, or persecuted, we all have to deal with it and carry the load.

But that's the strength of families isn't it? When one is up, others are there to share the joy. When someone is down, others are there to lend support and concern. Whether we are brothers or sisters, parents or children, our strength lies in our unity and being in relationship with one another. As Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's once said: "None of us is as good as all of us."
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In the forgiving, we receive

"Please forgive me, if I act a little strange..." Dave Gray

We are all in need of forgiveness. Whether it's ourselves we need to be gentle with, or someone else that we need to extend mercy too, forgiveness is a precious commodity. When we adopt an attitude of forgiveness, our life becomes so much easier.

Forgiveness is a way of recognising that sometimes, we - or others - stuff up! When we forgive we are acknowledging that indeed, this too shall pass: whether it's the hurt or the anger, the bitterness or the sadness, we remind ourselves that it doesn't have to always be this way.

Forgiveness is a noun but it's actually more of an action. We for-give - we give up, we give out. And when we give - be it mercy, compassion, understanding - we discover that we actually receive a whole lot more in return.
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Light on the Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson's new film is an interesting beast: he plays a cop (nothing new there) pursuing those responsible for the death of his daughter (this is a new twist). It's a movie that features the violence one has come to expect from a Gibson flick but it also has a heart.

In one exchange, Ray Winstone's character tells Gibson's grieving father character: "I've never had kids but I'm not sure which is worse - to not have children or to have them and see them die." It's the loss of a child that drives Craven (Gibson) and also which underpins this comeback vehicle for the now much maligned actor.

As a father who has buried his daughter, I responded to Edge of Darkness in a way that I didn't expect. To come home and have my wife, Celena, then share about her research into medical options for our son, Brodie, was a challenging juxtaposition.

Like Gibson, I grieve for what I have lost. Unlike his character, who discovers he has little to live for, I look inside the bedroom down the hall and see a whole lot of living to be experienced.

Sometimes, when you live on the edge of darkness, even the smallest light of hope shines brightly.
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