The tracks of our tears are part of the melody of life

Among the many applications I have downloaded on to my phone is the virtual goldmine known as Spotify. I love this app for the variety of music that it allows me to enjoy and experience.

In the ebbs and flows of life, music is one of those forces that can uplift and inspire, console and comfort, encourage and excite.If you are anything like me, the jukebox of your heart is never short of tracks to listen to and ponder.

Recently, Celena and I had one of those conversations, on a road trip, where we asked each other what songs readily brought us to tears.

Besides the haunting U2 ballad, 'One', I nominated a song by an English band from the 80s, ABC. Their track 'All Of My Heart' was on high-rotation in my room as I grieved over the break-up of my first love. Celena and I both acknowledged that Bon Jovi's classic 'Thank You For Loving Me' brought us undone because it has become our prayer to our daughter, Amber-Rose. Similarly, I cannot listen to Rob Thomas' 'Fire On the Mountain' without being transported back to the day in October 2010 when we laid our son Brodie to rest.

Music may soothe the savage beast but it can also reduce that same creature to a blubbering mess!

Tonight, along with drafting this post, I began downloading some music to iTunes. One of the tracks I 'discovered' was a hidden gem among the greatest hits of Mike and the Mechanics, 'A Beggar on a Beach of Gold'.

Reading the lyrics on-line made me realise that there always will be a song that speaks into the moment. No matter where we are in life, there is a tune that we can turn to, a song that we can sing along with, a lyric we can learn from. For me, this was THAT song.

(Check out the lyrics at http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mikethemechanics/abeggaronabeachofgold.html)

Sometimes, the record that is our life gets a scratch. We still go around and around, like an old 45, but the circumstances are such that we get stuck. And we repeat the same part of the song, over and over. We forget that often, when faced with a recurring challenge, we just need to lift the needle and gently move forward. For as Mike and his band remind us:

"When I was searching for solutions
I found the answer lay in me
I'm a drifter
But I'm drifting on a silver sea."

The essence of this song is that today is a gift. So is tomorrow, yesterday and every day before that. No matter how loud the drum roll of doubt may become, or how faint the chorus of hope may be, we are alive and we need to cherish each and every moment.

"Are you out there now on empty
Feel you've nothing left to give
Sick of trying
Have you lost the will to live?

Don't be drowning in the shallows
With the beach so near at hand
Hear the voice say
Stand up get up
And join me on the gilded sand."

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The challenge of staying put

A sentiment often expressed to those who have experienced some sort of loss or trauma is that they need to 'move on'. It's a well-intentioned statement, emanating from a desire to see the person, or people, recapture a zest for life and to rekindle their purpose in living. Or is it totally altruistic?

It's not easy being in the moment with someone, when they are feeling sorrow, or anger, or hurt, or betrayal. I know I find it difficult dealing with conflict, and the myriad of 'negative' emotions that come from breakdowns in communication or falling short of expectations. But I am learning that if I do not stay present to what is being shared, I miss an opportunity for growth. I may think it preferable to 'move on' but really, I need to stay present to whatever is being shared and ensure that the person doing the venting, the ranting, the outpouring, knows that I am there, regardless!

We need to stay present to whatever is being shared

Anyone that has 'moved' will know that going from one house to another, one office space to another, is only part of the journey. When the removalists have pulled out, you still have the boxes to be unpacked, the furniture to be arranged and the mail to be redirected. It's an ongoing process and you need to attend to the various tasks, at your leisure and as your circumstances allow.

Moving on is no different. It takes time. It takes an effort. Those we want to 'move on' will do so at their pace, in a way that respects their particular circumstances. It's not easy but they need us to stay there, in the moment and offering the assurance that says: "I'm not going anywhere!"

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Time to dwell in the gaps

It has been a long time since I wrote on this blog...Easter this year, in fact. Nearly six months have passed, from the time I wrote about Brodie's reaction to the Easter story. In that time, we have been told that Brodie may only have 'months' (subsequently revised to 'weeks') to live! Obviously, we have found this news very confronting!

In that time, I have been assailed by a wealth of emotions: I use the term 'assailed' because it has been almost an assault of the senses that I have experienced; I use the term 'wealth' because I recognise that there is a richness, and a depth, to what we are all going through, collectively as a family, and individually.

One of the best descriptions I have come across, to describe the journey of these past few months, is 'dwelling in the gaps'. The sense of this expression is captured in the extract below:

"The more you try to let go, the harder it is to let go. Then we feel incompetent because we can't let go. If we're really dwelling in the gap, we can turn to God and say: "This is what's going on. I'm feeling it right now. I'm going to allow You to be here. I don't have to struggle with control; I can look at what I can learn about this." That's dwelling in the gap. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it's hard."

There will no doubt be much hardness ahead; at times, like when Brodie comes into read me my Stephen King novel at night, it will all seem so easy! But the chance to 'dwell in the gaps' means we have to be prepared to live on either side...the good times and the bad, the hard times and the easy ones. It's the stuff in between - the gaps - that help make us who we are.
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Families provide strength and support

A man donates some money to a charity, as a way of expressing his gratitude for the support his place of employment provided to him and his family, while his wife battled terminal cancer. It may sound complicated but the simplicity of this gesture is truly inspiring.

Earlier today, I had the privilege of addressing some of the colleagues and other people at this particular place of employment. The man - whom I have met previously -was there too. My role was to simply say thanks: thanks to him, for the donation; thanks to those he worked with, for the support they provided; and thanks, on behalf of those who will benefit from such generosity.

In expressing my thanks, I drew on the imagery of family. The place of employment was one family; the husband, wife and son they supported was another; and the people who will benefit from the support were all part of the global family. It's a powerful notion because, like any family, when one person is suffering, all members suffer. When someone is sick, or hungry, or impoverished, or persecuted, we all have to deal with it and carry the load.

But that's the strength of families isn't it? When one is up, others are there to share the joy. When someone is down, others are there to lend support and concern. Whether we are brothers or sisters, parents or children, our strength lies in our unity and being in relationship with one another. As Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's once said: "None of us is as good as all of us."
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Happy World Communication's Day

There was plenty of food for thought at Mass this evening, the night of World Communication's Day (May 24, 2009)
I couldn't think of a more fitting time to begin this blog than on the day designated by the Vatican as World Communication's Day. (Co-incidentally, it's also the day on which the church celebrates the feast of Mary Help of Christians, as the Patron of Australia and when the World Council of Churches was established in 1948.)But it is the importance of communications, as a tool for evangelising and as a means of Mission, that really captures my attention. It also inspires me. So if you're reading this blog, it's because I would like you to share in my passion and join with me. Subscribe to this blog (there is a spot on the right-hand side of the page to do so) and let's work together to use modern technology to contribute to an age-old calling: "Go and make disciples of all nations", as the Gospel of today reminds us. As the guest preacher at St Rita's Catholic Church, Mike Jones, reminded us tonight, we each have a part to play in continuing Christ's Mission. He - through the Holy Spirit - works in, and through, each of us as to help us build the Kingdom of God, here on Earth. I look forward to sharing the journey with you.

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